Me running!
The kids at the farm before we moved.
Grammy and Remi!
Four generations!
Hiking to Snoqualmie Lake!
Jared and me the day he proposed!
Before Travis passed, life was easy. I was a home mom being a homeschooler and housewife. When it came to bill time, I listed the bills, gave Travis the total and he'd write a check for said bills, groceries and a bit more. If the kids or I needed anything else, all we had to do was ask and he'd make it happen. I always said, "I wish I had my husband's money!" LOL!! Well that rings so true today! When he passed, it was then that I realized how much debt J&L Express was in! The economy was not doing so well and farmers were just struggling to keep a float. But ... the cows needed to eat, so Travis was still paddling away! I do remember one time, when we had a little talk. (He didnt' share a lot of business stuff with me. I assume it's cause he didnt' want me to stress too.) He informed me of a couple farmers who were quite a bit in debt to the business and he let me know he was worried. I could see and feel the stress in him. Needless to say... In May 2010, I handed over my half of the business to Curt, our business partner, and he "assumed my half of the debt." He has since (from what I've seen and heard) gotten a financial consultant and is still in business doing well! I am happy for him and his family. I know that things happen for a reason. I pray for things to continue well for them. I also pray for his health as he has been fighting prostate cancer for years.
So with the business out of my name and a 20 acre farm on my hands...... What's a girl to do?? Well it'd been 7 months since Travis' passing. I had a little construction done to the house right away due to heating issues and a super high propane bill previous winters!!! I had money from his life insurance and even though I knew it would be sad for the kids... I couldn't afford to stay there. I put the house up for sale. Problem was, we refinanced a lot, so there wasn't much room for me to price the house "to sell" very low. It was pretty stressful for me having a few things done to the house that I knew needed fixing and then having an inspection that always shows more things. A new roof? Recalled siding?? The nice thing about a property like that was that it wasn't just another house in a culdesac. Anyone interested would be looking for just what I had to offer. 20.73 acres, a pond, an open field to plant anything, a huge barn, cute and cozy home... off the road, a little orchard.... Even the barn had an apartment in it that Travis had built. It was a 2 bedroom with another little loft room, full kitchen, livingroom, bathroom with laundry.... but ... it was done without permits!!!!! I couldn't list the place as having a "mother in law" suite or anything that meant another living space was there. Also... I had to make sure the new buyers knew it was unpermitted, which to realtors also means "unsafe". I couldn't spend the $ to MAKE it "legal", so it was listed as an "unpermitted apartment".
I had people interested, but to make a long story short, I ended up shortselling the house! Not so great on my credit, but I had to do it. I had to get out from under the payments!!! By the time that was all said and done, I was SO ready to move on at that point!!!
So the girls and I moved into a house 4 miles North. The home was brand new and placed basically in a raspberry field. The owners of the home also owned of the local feed store. We'd known them through our business, so I was thankful to have heard about the house and get my foot in the door first. We just had to finish the closing of our house and wait for this one to be completed. It worked out fine and we moved into the home in Sept 2011. It's been kinda nice being in a newer home compared to an updated here and there but still, basically, old farmhouse. We definitely had to downsize! We had 11 years of accumulation in that farm! Between the house and the barn!!!!! WOW! I can't believe we were able to get ourselves down to a 3 bedroom 2 car garage and needing no storage unit! Granted our garage is full of boxes and things, but hey! You sure learn about purging and what is materially (Is that a word?) important in life! I am definitely not any where near being a packrat now! (Not that I was before!)
Through all of this ... I already posted once about my running and how that fit into my life. It was definitely my release! My sanity! I ran and ran! The last time I really ran, I did the Rock and Roll Half Marathon in Seattle with my girlfriend, Christine. That was great! So addicting! I would give a lot to be able to run another half marathon! The next month, I ran the Ragnar with some church friends, and Chris, the guy I was dating. The Ragnar is a 200 (this one was 190) mile race that is done with teams of 12. Two vans of 6 runners take turns leapfrogging and running 3 legs each person! You literally start at 8am one day and end the next afternoon! I ran 6.5 miles my first leg then 3.4 then 3.2. Problem was, I had an issue with my right knee that started as a strained calf when there were 1.5 miles left of my half marathon! But this was a team event and I wasn't going to let them down! If I was running a leg and decided I hurt too much and felt I couldn't run anymore, someone from my team would have to run for me and I'd be out for the rest of the Ragnar! That wasn't fair to them, I felt. So when they could drive along cheering me on, I told them to meet me at my finish. I didn't want the opportunity to say I hurt too much. If they were at the finish line of my leg then I had no choice but to just get myself there! I ended up running lightly 5 mins and then walking one minute. It's called the Jeff Galloway way of running. Believe it or not, even with my knee that way, I still made good times on each of my legs! And I iced my knee whenever I wasn't running!!!! It was definitely a memorable run! Not cause of my knee but because it was so fun! Just like a half marathon, I'd love to do a Ragnar again! But I haven't really run since! I did a JingleBell Run with the kids and Travis' brother that December, but it was nothing like what I had been doing, and we walked a lot too. It was fun to have my kids all doing that with me!
I have since, been riding a bike. It is good exercise also, but I do miss my runner's body (legs)!!!! I have been going to the chiropractor and I've seen a doctor. He did xrays on my knee to make sure nothing is broken, but wants to do an MRI next, yet i have no medical insurance. I don't think I'd qualify for much financial help. I know that Jared wants to get me in when we are married and I'm on his medical insurance. We will see. I definitely would love to run again! I just wouldn't get crazy with it. I do have to admit, I had signed myself up for a whole marathon that next October after the July Ragnar, but obviously didn't even attempt it. I'd still love to say I did one... some day. In the meantime, I'm riding my bike and trying to stay fit and healthy... while wearing a knee brace and going to the chiro. I think I'm doing okay. :) Even this past summer, Jared got me kayaking with him. That was fun!! And we did a lot of hiking! I'm thankful he is knowledgeable (where's spellcheck when you need it?!) about the outdoors and that we have so many things that we can enjoy together!
Financially, things can definitely be stressful. Like I said, when Travis was here, all we had to do was ask when we needed or wanted something. Now it's all up to me! And I don't have "his money"! It was down to Social Security and his life insurance. I knew the life ins wasn't gonna last forever and I wanted to save what I could for emergencies. Social Security was only til each girl graduates or turns 18, whichever comes last. I decided that I could see if my neighbor needed help with her housecleaning business. She sure did need help. But only on days she couldn't do it herself. I was applying for jobs other places, but hearing nothing, so I worked for her a few days a week. Nothing major though. After a while, she didnt' need me anymore. I don't remember why. Maybe her daughter decided to help. Anyways, I thought, "I can do that. I cleaned houses for people years ago. I can do this myself." So I put an ad on Craigslist and started getting clients! I tried to use eco-friendly cleaners when I could. That first year, on average, I was cleaning about 12 houses per month. As of today, "From Dust til Dawn Cleaning and Management Services" cleans approximately 12 jobs per week. Give or take. Usually give. And.. I have a parttime employee named Sarah! I couldn't be doing 12 jobs a week without her! I'm very proud of what I have grown and the clients that I have are wonderful! They often ask me "Are you going to quit working when you get married?" I have to say, "No! Why would I do that to you?!" I am proud that I can help with finances! Not that Jared has said he needs me to work, but it's part of who I am today. Plus, I enjoy it and the families that I work for! They become your friends and you grow relationships of a sort with them!
Let us not forget my first granddaughter, Remi Mae Jackson, who was born April 19, 2012! What a joy and burst of sunlight in our lives! I love watching her grow and I love having Grammy time with her! I love that Josh and Fallon come over for dinner most Sundays! It has become our family dinner day, and I hope to keep it that way!
So that is Dawn! What I've been up to for the most part! Again, and I hate to sound like a broken record, but it's truly what I know... The Lord loves each one of us! If we do what WE can and no less then turn the rest over to Him, he will provide! He has a plan for each of us! A plan of happiness! I am so thankful for His guidance! Travis is and always will be a part of me and the kids. I am thankful for that. I look forward to the future with amazing children whom have grown so much! I look forward to watching them each continue growing as I support and love them! I also look forward to a life with Jared! Our families blending into one and growing old together! I am thankful for the experiences I've had in my life that have formed me into who I am today.
No comments:
Post a Comment