Fall/Winter weather is here! Thanksgiving isn't even until tomorrow and yet we've had our first winter storm of the year! Brrrrr! Yesterday morning, with the windchill factor, it was -2 degrees in Bellingham! It's supposed to warm up tomorrow to 40 then get cold again . . from what the weatherman says.

The past couple of months have been pretty busy. Cole is still working on dirtbikes with his friend, Colin. Colin has recently moved into the extra room up in the barn apartment. I'm sure he and Cole are enjoying each others' company. Even though Cole is quite independent, I still think they enjoy each others company. Cole is still planning on his trip to Alaska the first of the year for three months. I pray that he'll be safe, enjoy his experience and come home as healthy as he leaves! I have been blessed to have my boys home this past year. Cole has been there when I need help with something or need something done. Not that I can't do things for myself, but sometimes you need an extra set of hands.
I recently bought myself a truck. It's a 1998 Dodge Ram 1500 Sport. I bought it from someone we know, so that helps. Cole has his dad's truck and Josh has a van that we could use if/when I needed a truck, but with Ky wanting to do more horse riding and shows, and since she has her license, she should be able to start driving herself to ride. I don't think Cole wants Ky driving his truck around like that. Plus . . as much as I want Cole to feel needed, I don't want to NEED him. I want him to know that he has his life, and is free to live it without feeling any pressure of "taking care" of his mother. Only thing I don't like about the truck with this economy is the fuel! Ugh! Since Ky is driving now too, I'm always handing out money for fuel!

Joshua has been working at Costco. I am very proud of him! He got hired and was told that he'd be a seasonal employee. After Dec, he'd get laid off for a couple of months, then they'd decide who is getting hired back. Josh has been such a hard worker; grabbing any extra hours he could at all. He found out that if he had his food handler's permit, he'd get more hours in the deli part of the store, so a couple of days later, he showed up to work with his card! He now has a set shift. He goes in at 5AM. Supercross starts in January, so his being laid off at that time was a great thing to hear! Now that he's been working so hard and showing himself, I'm afraid they won't want to lay him off at all!!! Hopefully because of his hard work he'll have no problem getting his job back when he gets back from CA for (SX) Supercross. Just as Cole is leaving home in January for Alaska, I hope that Josh stays safe and unharmed as he goes to California for SX and comes home healthy! I have purchased my ticket to fly down for Ananheim 1, which is the first of the series. I can't afford to be to all of them, but am thankful I have plans to go down for the first one. I am so thankful for all of the support, love and sponsorship that Josh has received to help with his racing this winter! I pray that he works hard and puts forth his effort to show his appreciation for their dedication to him! It's getting harder to get help with MX due to the economy. I pray that he races well and safe!
I'm very proud of the growth that my boys have made this past year. They haven't had much choice, but have done well with the situation. I'm very proud to call them my sons! I pray that the Lord will continue to help them grow and prosper in life!

Kyleigh has gone back to public school! It was a big decision. She was starting to get what I would call "restless" at home. I have been doing a lot of housecleaning and running errands, so she was left home alone a lot through the days. . . and not always doing her schoolwork like she should have been. Cole took Ky to Eastern Washington University to visit Jolynn (Cole and Jo have been together for about 5 yrs now, on and off.) for a weekend. He thought it would be a good idea for Ky to see College life to help her get excited for her future. I thought that was great too! And it was also good for the two of them to have that time together. Before they went,Ky had once mentioned to me going back to school. I didn't want her bouncing back and forth, and knew she was behind on her credits. I was afraid she'd lose hope once she realized how far behind she was. After going to see Jolynn, Cole even mentioned putting Ky back in school. So . . . we went and sat down with the school counselor. I told her my plans for Ky, which was running start college credits and helping her prepare for college . . because I knew she was behind on her high school credits. Ky then told the counselor her own goals, which included walking down the aisle with her class next year. After looking through her credits and all, we could see that she was surely behind a bit. She will be able to walk down the aisle, just possibly not receive her diploma yet til she finishes her credits the next year. She got excited about that, and that made ME get excited for her! Two days later, she walked through the doors and began going back to public school! What is so exciting to me is that she has adapted well and is getting very good grades! Ky knows the hard work she has ahead of her, but her goal is in sight, and I know she is going to continue doing well! I'm very proud of her and excited FOR her also!
This past Fall, Kyleigh's horse, Flyer started to get a bit skinny. She didn't want to eat a lot. We knew she was getting older and also knew she had lived a fulfilling, long life for a horse. We put a horse blanket on her and tried feeding her things to bulk her up, to no avail. This past Sunday morning, Cole went outside and found Flyer laying on the ground, too weak to get up. Kyleigh came home from her friend, Annie's house, said good bye to Flyer. Soon after, she was euthanized. A very sad day for Kyleigh. Flyer was her first horse and such a great horse for her to learn gaming and 4H with! Even Abby rode her a few times, and was great!

Abby is doing better and better in school. When she started school, she was behind a little bit on her math, but that is slowly becoming her best subject in school! She is learning to be a little more organized and slow down just a bit. She is a very social girl, and has lots of good friends.

Abby was busy with Fall, outdoor soccer and now is playing indoor soccer on Tuesday evenings and also basketball just began. As long as her schoolwork stays up where is should be, I love that she is active in sports. We are trying to get her back into piano lessons also, and she is excited to start learning the violin we bought her a few months ago!

This past October 17th was the anniversary of Travis' passing. It is still so hard to comprehend that he is gone! It sometimes seems he will still walk through the door any second! Sometimes it seems like forever since I have seen him, touched him or heard his voice. I can imagine it is the same for my children. People pass away and leave this world daily, but when it is someone that you love dearly, it is so different. It's un-comprehendable at times. I know that Travis' spirit is with us. I know that he is often with his children. They tell me that they do feel him at times. I am thankful for the love that we shared before his passing. I am thankful we were able to have that last hug and kiss before he left for hunting with Cole. I am also glad we didn't know that it was our last. I know that he felt my love for him. Not many people get to say that they have a nice last memory with their loved one, but I do. Again, I am so thankful!

I'm still trudging along with my online schooling through Kaplan online College. I am also doing some housecleaning to make money. It isn't easy looking for a parttime job (or even fulltime!) in this economy, but I keep applying, and know that the Lord will take are of the rest. My faith is definitely being tried, but I know that I can only do so much. As long as I put in MY effort, and ask, I know the Lord will take care of the rest on His timing.

I look forward to a nice, enjoyable holiday season. Last year, our living room was torn apart and we celebrated Christmas in the barn apartment. It was nice, but I look forward to Christmas in the house this year, with our new bigger space too! Thanksgiving will be spent with Chuck and Susan and kids. I know that the boys look forward to that. They love their Uncle Chuck! The three of them are on a Monday night bowling league together, and I'm sure it's their favorite night of the week! I love my "Brother"!

This past October 8th, I was able to attend an LDS widows/widowers conference in Utah for the weekend. I joined this group on Facebook and made a few friends on there. It was neat meeting some of them in person and getting to know them better! Some have become dear to me. It was so great being in a room full of people who I knew I could talk freely and openly with, and they would know how I felt and what I was experiencing. I learned so much from the speakers also! I learned more about things I basically already knew, but it became deeper for me in understanding. I came home with a grasp of where each of my children and I are in our individual healing. I pray that one day my children can look back and say that I tried to respect them and love them through their healing. I am thankful for the knowledge and learning I gained at the conference . . . and the fun that all of us widows/widowers had too! I look forward to attending the next conference in March!

For Christmas this year, I guess I'm buying myself a new hot water tank! The one that we have now is leaking and as we look at the year on the label, we can see that it was installed back in 1993! Hot water tanks should be replaced approximately every 5-6 years! I am shocked ours has lasted so long! I am thankful for the brothers (men) at church who are willing to take their Thanksgiving morning to come over and install the new tank!
A hot water tank isn't exactly a Christmas present, but what I mainly give myself is my health. I continue to run, even if it's on the treadmill downstairs in the house, yet I long to be outside again! After meeting a fellow widower from Seattle at the conference this past October, I was able to make a few friends with some LDS widows/widowers down in the Seattle area. We all got together and put Christmas decorations up at the house of a sister who lost her husband this past April. I look forward to spending more time with these wonderful friends in the future! One of the sisters, named Christine, also enjoys running, hiking, etc. I see us being great friends!

As I look back on this past year, I see the growth that each one of my children has made. They continue to amaze and teach me. I am thankful for their spirits. I pray that the Lord will bless them each in ways that only He may know each one of them needs. I completely put my trust and faith in Him.